It’s almost that time — and Santa still has a lot of stuff to do before heading out Christmas Eve:

  1. Add a new list category: naughty — nice — atrociously evil
    and stupid political figuresweird santa
  2. Get those Odor-Eaters for his boots
  3. Remember that smartphone, so he can text Mrs. Claus from the road
  4. Practice his creepy laugh to freak out the reindeer
  5. Update his list of houses without chimneys
  6. Pack the Lactaid
  7. Program the GPS for “everywhere”
  8. Remember the reindeer poop bags
  9. Make sure his insurance is up-to-date in case he crashes
  10. Buy a carton of Sharpies for the White House

 

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